We have all seen this parent. Perhaps you ARE the parent who yells repeatedly across the playing field or pool at a child from the safety and comfort of your bleacher bench or fold-up chair.
Your victim doesn't even need to belong to you, because you just enjoy screaming and treating others around you to your superior knowledge of the game, making the event so much more enjoyable for everyone in attendance.
Or maybe you talk a little more discreetly to anyone who will listen about all the other players, paying special attention to ALL their bad plays.
Despite never having coached, you don't hesitate to criticize the coaches, the referees, the players, and their style of play.
Chances are you have been ejected (or threatened to be ejected) from at least one game.
Every team has at least one of you.
This email I received today will help illustrate why it totally sucks to be your kid:
A SOCCER STORY....
A mother was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her teenage son. Suddenly the boy bursts into the kitchen.
"Careful! Careful! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful!... CAREFUL! I said CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The mother stared at him. "What's wrong with you? You think I don't now how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The son calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm trying to play soccer."
I cannot stand when parents like you behave this way. Honestly, it ruins the game/match/meet for me. And I know I'm not the only adult who feels this way. Just imagine how terrible it is for the kids...especially your own kid.
Being a team's worst nightmare is wrong on so many levels.
- Parents who sideline coach make athletes feel incompetent. The kids are smart and well-trained, so they should know what they are doing. And, if they don't, for the love of sports, let them make a mistake and learn from it. Give them some credit. Please do us all a favor. If you feel you must instruct your child, do it in the car on the way home.
- If the athletes are doing their jobs out there, they should be focused and in their zone. They should be tuned into the voices of their coach and their teammates. So, they can't (or shouldn't) hear you. As a former swimmer, I can tell you I saw an awful lot of crazy body gestures while I was coming up for air, but I never heard a word anyone ever said. I was focused and there was water in my ear.
- Nobody likes to be micromanaged. Think about it...do you like when your boss hovers over your shoulder or calls every shot on a project? No, you don't. And I bet you excell when you're given a little trust and breathing room? Try doing that for your kid.
- It undermines the coach. You really have no idea what the coach is thinking or working on with the kids, so why confuse the team with your input? If you really knew best, you'd have a coaching certificate and would be coaching, and then we'd/they'd care about what you're saying. Yelling "shoot" or arguing with the ref is not your job.
- Even highly paid professionals make their fair share of mistakes. Nobody's perfect. Of course, the kids are going to make a few. Re-lax. There are lessons to be learned all the way around.
- It teaches poor sportsmanship. Bad plays and calls happen. Stop your whining about every stinking thing and actually help the kids learn to shake things off and move on. Be respectful of everyone and their levels.
- You're an embarrassment. To your kid, the team, and yourself. You could even be the reason they quit one day. How would you feel then?
- Above all, remember it's not your game. It's your kid's game. Let them enjoy their time to shine. You had your time. Or maybe you didn't and that's why you're so hard on your kid.
It's easy to get caught up in the heat of a game--we've all done it on occassion--but for your kid's sake, keep a pretty steady lid on it.
Stop being a jerk.
05 Jun, 2011--
Source: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/so-not-an-expert/2011/06/parents-coaching-from-the-sidelines-why-is-sucks-to-be-that-kid.html
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