HEAVEN- Sitting atop the world, God wanted to make His feelings known to sports fans.
In one of his boldest statements yet, the Lord God did not intervene to stop Vancouver Canucks forward Alexandre Burrows from winning Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals, Saturday night.
The Canucks forward was seen biting Boston's Patrice Bergeron during Vancouver's Game 1
Upon seeing this photo, God stated: "Wow...that looks like it hurts. By the way, do you guys need me for the full 30 minutes?"
victory. Even with the video proof, the NHL chose to not suspend the Vancouver forward for the second game of the series.
With sports fans waiting for God's intervention, the Man in the heavens let Burrows' action go without retribution. Even more heartbreaking for hockey fans, the Canucks forward scored two goals, the second in overtime, to give the Canucks a 3-2 victory.
During an interview late Saturday, God expressed his views...
"What? Who's this? Vancouver/Boston? Oh, yeah, hockey. That's the one with the sticks and the ice, right?"
Reporters wanted to know why God didn't intervene to show younger athletes that if a player's actions disregard the rules...that there is still some form of reciprocation for those violations.
God disagreed.
"Well, you know, it's weird. There was this earthquake in Missouri...and I've got a lot of people in Africa that need me...some political climates are uneasy in the Middle East...so, you know, I haven't been thinking of sports a lot, lately, like...um...never?"
An opportunity arose to show the world's youth that the right actions pay off, but God didn't see any reason for intervention.
"You think if I cared about hockey, I'd let something like that go? Heck, no! I'm just trying to get Muslims to open the door for orthodox Jews at the local supermarket on Devon...you know...I'm trying to build some bridges. I know what some people are saying, 'what does this
Hey, kids! If you bite, you too...can be a champion!
whole (non-hockey punishment) thing teach our children?!' Well, it should tell them that a) I don't care and b) you can do as much crappy stuff as you want because c) I'm sendin' yo ass to hell, b---! Okay, that last sentence was a bit 1999. And the finger snap and head shake was a bit 1992...but...I'm sorry, I have been so out of the loop since 9/11...is that Will and Grace show still on? I loved that show."
God's Twitter feed after the press conference relayed his disappointment to his billions of fans around the world.
"Still getting mesgs from y'all who thnk this hocky game means something. plz. there are starving ppl n need. Thnk! #burrows.
When people asked Him for his opinion on the eternal fate of Burrows, God grew even more upset.
"I don't deal with this after-life $ht. @stpeter will take care of that. 'Shall come to judge the living and the dead?' ...and then...'I'm done. You're all making me want to be a Burrows fan. Watch it. #1800starvingpeopleinafrica.com'
No other comments have been gathered at this time.
Game 3 between Vancouver and Boston will take place Monday night.
05 Jun, 2011--
Source: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/chicago-tough/2011/06/god-makes-emphatic-statement-that-he-doesnt-care-about-sports-burrows-wins-it-for-vancouver.html
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