Life is definitely busy. Doesn't everyone say that? But, things seem busier today than they did 10 or 15 years ago. I don't even have small children anymore and my life seems busier than it ever did. I'm not complaining, believe me, I know that it's better to be busy than bored, but the problem is how to get the everyday essential things accomplished.
Stories have been written that Americans don't even use up the days off that they are given while Europeans can't wait every summer for their four-week "holiday" to begin. In fact, governments in Europe encourage the time off while many of us here in America feel guilty about taking days off. Certainly we know in this country intuitively that time off is the great recharger and the more time you can take off, in chunks, the better you will feel when you return to work. No matter, how many of us are "maxed out" on our time off, but dutifully come to work out of fear of losing our jobs or fearing that the person beside us will look for any edge to take our job?
In the current state of the economy, it seems that the majority of those of us who are fortunate to have a decent job will not do anything to jeopardize that. As a result, less time off and less time to take care of the basics.
So, I need a caddy. Not for golf and not just to carry my bag, but a personal, life-caddy. Someone who can perform the functions that a caddy performs on the golf course, but, instead, perform them on a daily basis, whenever needed.
If confusion exists, let me say that my cursory research for this post made it clear that there are a couple of types of caddies that I don't need.
First, I don't need the cleavage caddy. Yes, it exists:
(I wonder if the TSA has had any issues with the Cleavage Caddy.)
Nor am I talking about this kind of caddy:
Beach Caddy
And, to satisfy my own curiosity, I tried to determine where the term "caddy" came from.
It appears that when Mary, later Queen of Scots, went to France as a young girl (for education & survival), Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scot game "golf". So he had the first golf course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when she returned to Scotland, she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced 'ca- day' and the Scots changed it into "caddie."Since I can't have a cadet and my father isn't Louis XIV, I want a caddy. I need someone to go to the cleaners, pay my bills, pick up a child, go to the grocery store, change the oil in my car, take out the garbage, get directions for a road trip, make sure my son's rent at college is paid, wait for Comcast, etc. I need my personal caddy to do all those things in the polite and etiquette-based manner in which a golf caddy conducts him/herself.
With the advent of a computer-based and smartphone-based society, everyone wants a piece of you for what seems like every minute of the day. How else to handle the onslaught of all the people, events and occasions that clamor for your attention, but with a personal caddy? Just as a golf caddy has the yardage book so you know the distance for your second shot on the par 5 12th hole, so would the personal caddy have a notebook indicating that you are scheduled for an exercise class at the same time that your son needs to be picked up from football practice. And, just as the golf caddy would tell you that you have no chance to reach that par 5 green in two shots, the personal caddy would politely indicate to you that you cannot drive that 27 blocks in 8 minutes and he will take care of picking up Junior.
"Why have a wife?" you may ask. Don't insult my wife, she needs a personal caddy too. "It sounds like you are tallking about a valet or a butler," you might comment. To that, I would respond that number one, this is America and the average person can't afford a butler; and, number two, a caddy has to be able to do it all - personal stuff, business, social, holidays, everything - far beyond the reach of the average valet or butler. Not that I would really know the actual job description of an average butler. And a butler is too stiff; caddies are cool, relaxed, calm under pressure, can't be flustered.
Just today, if I had a personal caddy, he would be at the grocery store buying food to make for dinner tonight and going to Target to get me socks.
Of course, the question that logically follows the desire for a personal caddy is "How can you afford to hire someone to be your personal caddy?"
My answer is simple: I'll just get a second job.
07 Jun, 2011--
Source: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/its-never-just-black-and-white/2011/06/i-need-a-personal-caddy.html
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